Lost, by Koalazymonkey (Flickr)

You may remember that I relaunched my business website in June 2012 under Flying Meta. So, what happened? Where did I go? Why the slow trickle of posts to the website?

Life Happened!

Big transitions, shifts, and head-scratching experiences.
 
 
 

The House

Last spring we decided to move to a beautiful homestead in the middle of nowhere… off-grid, acres of forest, pond, lots of edibles, and a rustic eco-friendly home. It was our dream home realized and it seemed like it was the perfect fit for us. We (especially me) spent significant time readying our home for sale, keeping it show ready, and preparing for our transition from the city to the country.

Unfortunately, despite multiple ‘sales’ on our own house, we weren’t able to close on one. The weirdest things kept happening to stop it, things I couldn’t begin to imagine. The universe clearly said ‘go in that direction!’, then clearly said ‘not right now!’.

With much heartache, we finally pulled the plug on the thing late fall, and resigned ourselves to staying where we are.

For now.

I’m itching to go somewhere (hopefully many-where’s).

The Boy

After another up and down school year in 2011-2012, with much thought, we decided to start homeschooling (or, rather, unschooling) our son. I talked a little about that in another post. That began as a trial run in August. We needed to see how well he would transition into it, as well as how he and I would handle being together all the time. I took on primary ‘schooling’ and care responsibilities for several reasons.

1. I have been very interested in the home/un-schooling approaches and communities for a few years now. It’s something I’ve been curious to try, particularly because of who my son is. I’ve read lots of articles, books, and know many people who already do this.
2. Experiential learning (learn by doing) has been near and dear to my heart in the professional training arena, as well as in my life and in raising my son. We’ve previously done lots of boy-driven learning and life experiences, now we get more time to do it. I also get to merge my professional training classes with things I learn with him. That’s pretty cool.
3. I (usually) have patience with him over long periods of time. Seems kind of out there as a reason, but it’s important. He is a highly spirited child, in all the exuberant beautiful ways, as well as in the out-there unpleasant ways. Patience and learning how to connect meaningfully are two things I am thus constantly working on within myself.
4. My work is flexible. It is sometimes tough to run your own business (let me tell you!), but it’s also very rewarding in so many areas. One area is being able to build my work around my life and the people who are important to me. I am able to work with him when he needs it, and otherwise, he’s left to his own devices. With 2 rules: no television (unless it’s a documentary), and no video games (unless he’s programming it).

 
The transition into our new reality was challenging for both of us. I put my business mostly on hold while we shifted to find a new rhythm and balance. I did work, but I was particular about the work I did.

Six months later, I have no regrets about this big decision, or the business delays, or lost income, or anything. My son is now writing letters to family members ( last year he had meltdowns at the idea of it), learning basic programming concepts, making movies, creating beautiful art, exploring sustainable energy technologies, and even learning sign language. While he receives some guidance and coaching from me, he is mostly self-directed.

Pretty cool.

The Confusion

Some days I feel like I’m pulled in a dozen directions at once. Many different interests, too little time. I am deeply passionate about most of them. I want to learn so many things, in addition to helping other people learn many things. Individually each area is a viable business. I have struggled for years to figure out how to bring them close enough together to make them a joint business model.

How the heck does someone combine:

• software testing and development
• health and wellness
• leadership
• zest for life
• earth stewardship
• … and whatever else I have going on….

 
Crazy, right?  Insert head scratching here.

I’m still working on this, but I’ve pieced it together much more over the last year. I know better what the picture looks like.

I have taken three different business classes in the last year to help me figure this out. I finished the first one – it was very helpful. I got frustrated with the second one – it wanted me to niche to a very small specific area – I don’t do that well. I am not a box. The people who ‘get’ me and work with me aren’t boxes either – they also fit into the world in very different ways, and find different inspirations from me. I am currently wrapping up the third one – it has been very helpful, although I have to go back and do several modules (sections) properly (or at all).

The long and the short of it – I am much less confused now. I have clarity. I am still stepping into being a complete ME so I can stop segregating myself into different pieces for different areas. I (and my business) are doing so much better as a result. Imagine that. 

Transformation

The only thing that is inevitable is change. When I tried to escape change, life became frustrating and challenging. I now seek change and transformation in my life. I embrace it. After many months of reflection, investment, healing, learning, and doing…. transformation into a more congruent, balanced, happy, living, giving me.

That’s very good for you.

The result is lots of cool stuff coming your way. Some free stuff. Inspiring and learning stuff. Things I hope you’ll love stuff. Keep an eye out, or even sign up for the newsletter to make sure you’re notified when cool things are available.

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For my 35th birthday, I wanted to do something meaningful. I toyed with many fun ideas. I settled on something that felt good, that connected me to others, and that made a difference (no matter how small).

I committed to doing 35 conscious acts of kindness. In one day!

So it was, on December 23rd (my birthday) I spent 7 hours galavanting around the city with my son doing good deeds, giving to others, and giving of myself. It was an amazing day. More on that in later entries.

I invited my friends on Facebook to join me by doing any number of kind acts, hoping to inspire others to do more good too. Despite the short notice and the busy time of year, many friends (and strangers – now friends!) joined me and shared what they did on the event page. People did amazing, thoughtful, and creative gifts. It was a rousing success!

I’ve decided to continue by doing 35 conscious acts of kindness each month through 2013. My (other) blog 35 Acts will document the beginning and the ongoing journey, and you are invited to join me.

The world needs more love, kindness, generosity, joy and laughter. So do you! Give a gift, spread the love, then come back and share your story of your conscious act(s) of kindness.

I hope you’ll join me in spreading good in the world!

Love,

Selena

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Then it hit me.

Today is the first day of school. Er, rather, homeschool. Today is the first official day we are not sending our son back to school.

What were we thinking?!

We had discussed homeschooling as an option for our son over three years. Towards the end of the last school year, grade 3, we decided to try it out over the summer. We were tired of training new teachers to help him in the classroom, battling over homework assignments, consoling him over social challenges, dealing with meltdowns, and tempering other behaviours that were disrupting the classroom. It was heartbreaking to see him grow up this way.

We want to see our son thrive (don’t all parents?), and we didn’t see that happening at school. He (and the teachers) weren’t getting the support they need, and we had no success getting him ‘labelled’ so that they do. That’s a whole other story!

We spent six weeks over the summer focusing on learning experiences and finding a rhythm that allowed both he and I to flourish (as I continue to run my coaching/consulting/training business, albeit on a smaller scale for a while). We’re still working it out, but have found a good fit. Despite some really hard days, it was a positive experience that allowed him to become more curious and creative, and to learn at a pace that limited his frustration.

Homeschooling felt like the right thing to do.

We sent a letter to the school board to notify them that we are going to homeschool this year (required by law every year once your child has been in the school system, in Ontario, Canada). I felt calm and positive about our decision.

Then I awoke full of anxiety on the official day one.

As the day progressed, I realized everything was okay. My son learned things. I learned things. We had great day.

I realized I was anxious because we were doing something important. We were following through on our decision to make a big positive difference for our son, and our family.

Big things worth doing are the things that we struggle with internally. Big changes are hard and scary, but it’s because it’s scary that I know it is the right thing to do. Facing fear and anxiety and doing the scary thing anyway is how we evolve and grow and become more of who we are meant to be in this world. Life will be better, because we dig down and find the courage to make it so.

This is an ongoing lesson that I’m constantly reminding myself of.

Yes, we’ll make mistakes along the way, just as all parents do… and it will be an awesome journey learning with him and experiencing the world together.

You can follow our adventure in homeschooling in-depth at OneSpiritedChild.com.

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Questioned Proposal, by Eleaf

In the day-to-day grind at work, it is easy to lose ourselves in details. Sometimes the details are important, often they are not.

We attend meeting after meeting, produce report after report, fill out template after template, complain, discuss things in circles, and maybe do some actual work. Admittedly, maybe it isn’t that bad for you in your job. I’ve seen people stuck in these cycles though… I’ve even been in them myself.

We forget to take a step back and ask ourselves, our managers, our colleagues, and our customers….

Why Am I Here?

Think about this for a moment.

Am I here (in my job, at this business) to:

• Make money for myself?
• Make money for the business?
• Create great products?
• Provide great services?
• Serve the customers really well so they leave happy and rave about me/us?
• Make friends?
• Plan social events?
• Surf the web?
• Take 10 minute smoke breaks every hour?
• Take 2 hour lunches?
• Socialize and have fun?
• Do my best work every day?
• Do the bare minimum?
• Do great work with least amount of time/money/effort?
• Complain about the crummy work environment and the people I work with?
• Enjoy the people and environment I work in?
• Get paid for 8 hours of work and actually do only 2 hours?
• Provide awesome value for the job I’m paid to do?
• Work as many hours as possible because it makes me look good?
• Create more work for other people to do?
• Minimize the work other people will need to do (because my work is that awesome)?
• Help others succeed in their roles?
• Be powerful and important?
• Tell other people what to do?
• Be right?
• Learn from others?
• Be nice to others?
• Be arrogant and grumpy with others?
• Say ‘no’ to everything that’s requested of me?
• Do what I say I will do?
• Say yes, but mean no, and don’t do what I agreed to do?
• Sulk in a corner because of all the stupid stuff that happens to me?
• Take responsibility for my actions and words?
• Take control of my destiny?
• Follow processes because that’s the way it’s done?
• Improve on processes to make them effective, efficient, and high-value (low cost for big value output)?
• Think negative?
• Think positive?
• Be realistic?
• Do something because it’s the right thing to do?
• Do something because I was told to do it?
• Follow the crowd?
• Embellish or hide the truth?
• Speak up and speak truth?
• Be a manager?
• Be a leader?
• Compromise my values?
• Be present and attentive in my work and interactions?

How About It?

Take some time to consider ‘Why Am I Here (in my job/business)?‘  

Connect with your inner self, your colleagues, your customers, and anyone else and figure this out. The truth might astound you. You might discover that your purpose for being there isn’t what you want to do, or that you aren’t doing what you should be doing, or something else entirely.

Now share with us here on this page!

With sharing comes more connections, more learning, and more awesomeness!

What questions did you ask yourself? Your colleagues? Your managers? Your customers?

What questions would you add to this list?

What did you discover?

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Despite being health conscious and eating fresh whole foods galore, even I go a little overboard. Sometimes I’ll have too many glasses of wine or chow down on a seemingly delicious bag of chips. When I wake up the next morning though, I feel it!  I’m exhausted, sluggish, sore, bloated, and brain fogged. I may have even put on some unwanted weight.

This is a result of the body trying to get rid of the toxins put into it. We’ll call this a hangover using the definition of “something remaining behind from a former period or state of affairs“.

A one-day binge results in a hangover the next day, but, you don’t need to go overboard in one day to have these effects. While the process is more extreme with a one-day binge, enough bad stuff accumulated over time will still leave you feeling less-than-stellar.

Why?

When bad stuff is put into your body, it needs to divert energy from other automatic bodily functions while it tries to clean up the mess you made. Less energy, oxygen and nutrients are supplied to your brain, muscles, and nervous system, as they are instead directed at finding and eradicating the poisons and chemicals.

It doesn’t matter if the source is alcohol, food, or something else. How your body works through the eradication and healing phase is basically the same:

1. Search for bad stuff
2. Eliminate bad stuff
3. Replenish good stuff

I’m sure you have heard of many ways to cure a hangover or detox your body. Many of them are no good, as they just add to the toxic waste already accumulated, and make it harder (if not impossible) for your body to find a healthy, happy balance.

For example:

• Drink coffee. Bad idea, as it makes you more dehydrated and slows down, or even stops, the search-eliminate-replenish process. And now, your body needs to add that coffee to backlog.
• Eat greasy food (e.g. chips, fries, pizza, burgers,…). Another bad idea. While the food might soak up any remaining accessible alcohol, your body now has even more toxins to get rid of. You have also increased your level of dehydration.
• Drink/eat what led to the hangover to begin with. Yes, again a bad idea. You still need to get rid of the toxic waste, and you’ve just put the process on hold all over again.

What Does Help?

There are a number of things you can do that really will help, as they eliminate and/or reduce the symptoms and speed up the healing process. Each approach below is an instinctive craving for our body to get what it needs to clean itself out and heal. Add one approach to your daily routine every week to speed up your body’s recovery and healing process.

Also spend some time connecting with your body and sensing what it asks for, separating this from your emotions, habits, and usual comforts. You will soon hear your body’s requests and start providing it with what it needs to search-eliminate-replenish itself back to a healthy balanced body.

Destinee Weathers

1) Drink lots of water

This should be no surprise! Your body needs water to function, period. Optimally, your body is comprised of 50-60% water. Without adequate water levels, your body automatically slows down different systems, resulting in the awful side effects noted above. It will also be unable to flush toxins out of the body in a speedy manner.

Drink an additional 1-2 litres of water each day to help your body regain proper function and quickly flush out the bad stuff.

2) Do some light exercise

Moving your body helps pump oxygen into your blood and increases blood flow, which in turn allows all parts of your body to operate better. Each part is then able to do it’s job in the search-eliminate process. Don’t push too hard though – you want your body to focus on cleaning itself, not on keeping up with a challenging workout.

Walking, basic yoga, and light body weight exercises are all good choices.

3) Eat fresh whole foods

This means food that has been grown in the ground or on a plant – NOT food from a box, jar, can, bag, or animal. Fresh whole foods are jam-packed with micronutrients, the building blocks your body needs to properly function. Micronutrients are all the vitamins and minerals that your body extracts directly from fresh whole foods to nourish and cleanse your body with. They do not need to be broken down or translated into something else to be effective. Processed foods and animal products are very hard for your body to break down and transform into something useful.

Choose to use your body’s limited energy on nourishing and cleansing itself by eating lots of fruits and vegetables, and small amount of nuts, seeds, and legumes.

4) Sweat

I’m sure the last thing you want to do when you feel unwell is get hot and sweaty, but it’s a surefire way to get toxins out of your body fast. Sweating is the body’s natural way to cool itself down and expel bad stuff.

Do some light exercise, use a sauna for a limited time, or even sit outside on a hot day. Make sure you stay hydrated by drinking even more water to replace the water released through your sweat.

5) Drink fresh juice or a green smoothie

Fresh juices and smoothies are a secret weapon for cleansing your body and improving hangover symptoms.

Freshly pressed fruit and vegetables will quickly nourish your body with loads of vital minerals, vitamins, and water. They are a powerful way to dramatically speed up the search-eliminate-replenish process.

Make your own fresh juice at home, or buy fresh juice at a juice bar. Don’t buy it prepackaged from a store.

Freshly blended smoothies made with leafy greens, fresh fruits, and water will have a similar effect. As they contain all the fibre of the produce, green smoothies are powerful cleansers, that will also provide a high level of nourishment.

Make green smoothies fresh in your blender using only water, leafy greens, and fruit.

Your Turn

With five powerful, effective, and healthy ways to clean your body’s engine, you have no more excuses for not helping your body recover and heal!

What have you done to clean your body’s engine? What has your experience been? What has worked and has not worked?

Share with us!

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by Derek Cheung

There are a lot of things that scare me, like spiders, public speaking, and financial insecurity. Where do these fears come from? At some point in our lives something happened that lead to each of our fears.

Looking back, I understand where these three fears came from:

• My fear of spiders started as a child when I was surprised by one in an unexpected place, on several occasions.
• As a very quiet and shy child, the thought of speaking up in class, let alone speaking more publicly, was terrifying. I was already a target for bullying, and I didn’t want to give them any more reasons to tear me down.
• Having grown up in a large family on welfare and food bank donations, I resolved at a young age that I would never be in that position with my own family. I got jobs, went to university, got good paying jobs and found financial security. It scared me to think that it could all come crashing down and we’d be right back where I started from.

Living in fear is a limiting way to live.

It’s a way to scrape by in a mode of existence, without truly experiencing our lives or challenging ourselves to grow and see things from a different perspective. Remaining in fear allows us to be controlled by outside circumstances. Facing our fears allows us to grow and evolve.

As the years pass, I am more likely to acknowledge my fears and learn where they come from. Sometimes I choose to face them head on and work my way through the fear. While I’m scared every step of the way, I have learned that I become stronger, happier, and more courageous to tackle other things.

For instance:

• 2 years ago I chose to tackle my fear of spiders when my then 6 year old son screamed when he saw lots of spiders in their webs around our balcony. I knew that the only way to help him gain courage was to show him that his spider-scared Mom could handle those spiders on her own. I used a hockey stick handle to take down webs and knock spiders away (from a distance, you see). Within a couple of weeks I had stopped squealing and was able to brace myself and just do it.
• Several years ago I decided to face my fear of public speaking head on as it was holding me back in my career. Toastmasters may have helped, but even that scared me. So instead I took on a volunteer position where I would be forced to speak on a monthly basis in front of 40-100 people. Terrifying, but over time I gained confidence and courage to speak on a larger scale. It worked for me.
• 2.5 years ago I faced down the idea that being employed meant that I had financial security. A breakthrough had occurred and I realized that I wanted to live life fully, passionately, with presence, and to model better choices for my son to learn from. I left full-time employment and embarked on setting up my own business. It allowed me more quality time with family and friends, the ability to give more of myself to others, and not have to compromise my values.

Life is Better

The more often I face my fears and work through them, the more courage I have to break free of other limiting beliefs and behaviours. It helps me to take control of my life and turn it into a journey and adventure that excites and nourishes my soul. Yes, there are lots of scary things along the way, but I’m more capable of handling them as they come.

I’m still scared of spiders, but I’m more curious to learn about them and sometimes even photograph them. I’m ashamed to admit that I’ll kill one if it’s found in my home, but that’s a huge improvement over screaming for my husband to kill it for me. I can now work around my garden and go on long camping trips quite comfortably.

Public speaking still makes me nervous and gets my heart racing, but it has allowed me to find success in my own business. As a result, last year I did a lot of travel speaking at conferences and giving workshops. I was able to help so many people, which nourishes my soul.

I’m yet again staring down the fear of financial insecurity. A series of unusual events this year led us to a cash-strapped year, but I wouldn’t change it for the world. Working through this is going to lead me to a better space where I am able to give more of my gifts to help others, and with that, financial security will fall into place. I am on a bigger journey of self-discovery and evolution as a result.

Facing fear has led to a better life.

More quality time with family and friends. More time to travel and explore the world around me. More time to connect with and learn from nature. More time to explore hobbies. More time to follow interests and passions. More time to try new things. More time for excitement, laughter, and fun. More time to really enjoy relaxing and downtime. More time to do work that is meaningful to me.

What Fears Have You Faced Down?

Have you challenged yourself to face any fears? What happened? How did it help you in your life?

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We all need to brainstorm and communicate ideas, plan new projects, and look at our work from a new perspective.

Visual modeling techniques are more effective than lengthy documentation (easier to read, interpret, and discuss). With a little creativity, visual models can be crafted on a variety of surfaces. Computers are not the only tool for creating visual aids, and sometimes the non-digital approach is simpler and more effective then the digital equivalent (especially for collaborative team work!).

Click on the mindmap model of this articles’ content as an example.

Here are 7 easy ways you can model and visualize your ideas.

Listed in no particular order, these methods make good use of hand drawn diagrams, pictures, and other visual aids that foster creativity, collaboration, communication, and understanding.

Giant Sticky Notes

• These are great because you get the advantages of writing on paper combined with the portability of typically-sized Post-It notes. Roll them up to store them, then unroll and stick on a wall to continue collaborative discussions and brainstorming.
• Make Your Own Giant Sticky Notes
• Any size and colour of paper can be quickly and easily turned into a giant stickynote – get the advantages of sticky note portability with your favourite paper!
• Try the following as a restickable adhesive: Scotch Restickable Adhesive Glue Stick, 3M ReMount Spray Adhesive Repositionable.

WhiteBoards

• Everyone should have access to a whiteboard in their workspace in my opinion. They are great for hashing out ideas, collaborating with colleagues, and making information visible. If you can swing it, get some really big two-sided whiteboards on wheels that can be moved around to where they’re needed at the moment. These were a big help for some teams I worked with in constrained spaces to house their Sprint Backlog, Issues, and Burndown Charts.
• Make Your Own Whiteboard
• If you’re cash-strapped, or just like to make stuff, you can create your own whiteboards with a few simple items from your local do-it-yourself building store (e.g. Home Depot): Tileboard/Showerboard, Plywood, and Panel Adhesive.
• Giant whiteboards can be made cheaply using Solid White Tileboard (or Melamine tile wall panel), panel adhesive, and plywood.
• Want higher quality? Invest in ceramic coated metal (e.g. P3 Ceramicsteel) and you also get the added bonus of a magnetic surface.  Thanks to www.kk.org for these tips.
• Use Dry Erase Paint on any surface and turn it into a whiteboard. Combine with Magnetic Primer to get a magnetic whiteboard.

Interactive Whiteboards – eg. SmartBoard

• If you can get your company to invest in them, these whiteboards are pricey, but incredibly useful. Use them for interactive collaboration with colleagues in the same location, or located elsewhere if you add the conferencing software option.  Save content immediately to a usb drive, network storage, or distribute immediately via email. Some versions even allow you to use the whiteboard as a computer display AND interact with documents, pictures, and video’s with digital ink. How cool is that?
• Make Your Own Interactive Whiteboard with Wii Controller
• My jaw dropped when I heard this could be done. For a fraction of the cost of a purchased interactive whiteboard (like a SmartBoard), the technically-inclined can make their own interactive whiteboard using an LED pen, Wiimote, Whiteboard, Projector, and a Computer with Bluetooth.

Windows

• I’m talking about the windows in your office, not the operating system.  Use them with whiteboard markers, and you have readily available collaboration centers. If you’re lucky enough to have glass windows on the interior of the building, you can also keep information confidential.

Digital Cameras

• Photo cameras are pretty accessible these days as they are found in phones, smartphones, secret spy pens, and of course, a traditional digital camera. Work captured on whiteboards, chart paper, and even windows can be saved via a picture and stored on a computer. No need to create a soft copy version, unless you think it needs a ‘professional edge’ or future editing.
• Video cameras are also more accessible, and can be used for not only capturing visual aids in digital format, but also the discussion’s that went into creating them. This can be invaluable for understanding why certain decisions were made.

Software: Mindmaps, Flowcharting, Drawing

• There are many programs available that will allow you to create visual diagrams. Mindmapping tools (I use FreeMind, which is opensource), drawing programs, flowcharting software (Microsoft Visio, ConceptDraw Pro), and UML tools are just a few to consider.

Get Input Fast

• This is a method for creating and improving on existing visual diagrams. By printing many copies of a diagram and distributing to people with crayons, and defining no rules, invite people to contribute. Crayons add an element of fun, and visibility to changes and additions. Ask people to note errors, make corrections & additions, share their thoughts & concerns, or even create new diagrams to capture their understanding of a particular topic. This is a fast and easy way to get everyone’s input into a combined diagram before gathering folks in a room together to discuss it (save time & money!).

I hope this gives you some new ideas to try out! Are there other things you would add to this list?  Please share them with everyone by leaving a comment!

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At that point I was 40 pounds overweight. I had started exercising at a gym, but the unhealthy weight (aka FAT) didn’t really start to come off until I stopped eating most prepackaged and processed foods. I even stopped buying canned stews and started making our own at home.

Over the years I cleaned up my diet further and predominantly ate fresh whole foods, like fruits, vegetables, legumes, nuts, seeds and whole grains. As I ate fresher, I didn’t cook as much and my beloved stews fell by the wayside.

Until recently.

I had a stew craving. I wanted flavour, warmth, texture, spices, .. I wanted that yum!

In a time-pressed crunch, I created a stew that satisfied my instincts, was refreshing, and very healthy. My tastebuds, mind, and body thanked me!

Refreshing Pizza Stew

Makes 2 servings

The ingredients evoke a similar taste to pizza sauce and the zucchini gives it a little chunk to create a stew-like texture. Just the right balance of garlic, chili’s, and onion give a perfect balance of flavours to satisfy your stewy cravings. Super healthy for you to boot!

Ingredients

• 1 large tomato
• 1 large pepper (any colour, I used orange)
• 1/2 medium onion
• 2 medium zucchini
• 2 clove garlic
• 1/4 tsp crushed chili pepper

Directions

• Blend tomato, pepper, onion, garlic, chili pepper until smooth
• Add chopped zucchini and blend until it’s slightly chunky. You want to evoke a stew feeling.
• Garnish with sprouts, if desired.

Nutrition Profile:

• http://nutritiondata.self.com/facts/recipe/2616577/2

Please come back and shared how you liked it!

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